I know when you eat, and what.
I know the moment your eyes open in the morning.
I know who you call by the sound in your voice.
I know how long the phone conversation lasts.
I know when you are approaching home, without your vehicle being seen.
I know when you are getting ready to leave.
I know exactly what you are saying, even if my vocabulary
consists of a few key words in your language.
I stick my nose in your business because I want you to be happy,
not because I don't trust you.
But if you tell me to desist, I will,
because even as I wish to monitor everything you do,
I know the private part of you is inviolate, even to me.
I'm not Big Brother.
I am your Dog.--LB Johnson - Author of "The Book of Barkley"