Saturday, July 8, 2017

The Secret Life of Dog Mom's - A Scooter Store Story

Abby Lab here telling a little "tail" about my Mom.

Mom's parents were both in law enforcement (her Mom was the Deputy Sheriff) and after being a professional pilot for both civilian folks and the government for a while, Mom entered that field when she finished her PEE-H-Dee. She said she's never done anything super exciting like on TV, said she's get sent home if she dressed like some of the female agents on the telly, and the biggest danger she usually faces is the candy machine in the lunchroom. However, she is trained in the use of a firearm in case she doesn't have an electron microscope to lob at someone's head. When she was new at it, she said she'd could likely hit a target IF attacked by a finback whale. But with practice at the local conservation club and the Law Enforcement Officer range, she got better.

She's mentioned doing her proficiency shooting, when the mail came that day.  Boy did her mood change. You see, Mom got an AARP card in the mail,  with another envelope from the Scooter Store (with FREE mobility assessment).  Mom said "they think I need a scooter!  I'm only 58! Her parents belonged to AARP and Mom said they were a fine organization but that was for OLD people.

I didn't want to be the one to remind her - but although people thinks she looks much younger, and she continued hiking, biking, and rappelling into her 50's, the theme for her high school prom was "FIRE". Just saying.
Mom did use a scooter once, in 2012 when she tore her minscus busting a move walking Barkley fighting ninjas, after the endoscopic surgery to clear out what couldn't be fixed.


Dad. who was her boyfriend at the time, went with her and at the Walmart - she got her first try with a motorized cart. Speed wise it was a fair it less than the INDY 500 and more than a snail on demoral. But Mom was not only able to do a cookie in the chicken aisle, she found that the displays in electronic made for great S patterns at top speed. She also discovered that big guys in Harley Davidson jackets with carts containing 200 bags of Tater Tots can move surprisingly fast when faced with a flaming redhead converging at top scooter speed.
She said that dealing with the crutches and the scooter was the hardest part. She  tried holding them up, but that made it hard to work the controls. She put one one out front. Jousting - Walmart Style. (if you can knock a Billy Bass out of someone's cart with it, it's bonus points). She finally gave in and let Dad carry them while she tried to burn rubber doing .02 mph watching out carefully for the Manager.

She admires anyone that can deal with using one of those on a regular basis and was so happy to give it up, working hard to get through the physical therapy.

So she was NONE too happy about the scooter advertisement and off she went that day to the range.
It was late winter, the snow had melted off but boy , Mom said it was COLD.
First, a test shot from 50 feet.  I would make a comment about blind squirrels and acorns but I do want to get a treat tonight.

Then. . 
Then there's that membership card.
That's my Mom - putting the "O" in mobility.

12 comments:

  1. HA! Our mom has received some of the AARP "offers", too, and thinks taking them to the range is the perfect thing to do with them!
    Cammie!

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    1. Even more fun than the Travelosity gnome target Mom made after a bad experience booking a flight.

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  2. Hari OM
    Spooky Abby - I was this very afternoon researching walking aids and mobility scooters; partly for the father, but also partly for rickety old me... and if one must go that route then THIS is the one! Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

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    1. Dad is still pretty mobile, still working out with small weights and an exercise ball and yoga mat 30 minutes every morning at age 97.

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  3. Our pawrents get them all the time too but they are very old!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  4. Someone should stop AARP from sending "welcome to AARP" mailings to the young folks. My husband started receiving those mailings 2 years after he died, and he was in his mid-forties! You go give her a cuddle and remind her that she's much too young to be getting those mailings!

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    1. Well I will, but she turns 60 next year, I may just save one envelope (that doesn't have holes in it)


      Abby Lab

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  5. Hey, I think ghostwriter got those in the mail too! She's also been getting phone calls from a company that wants to sell her a medical alert system in case she falls down and can't get up. She's about as thrilled as your Mom is! But she has to admit, there are days when she'd gladly ride a scooter!

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    1. I really have to force myself some day to do the workouts, but Dad was playing golf at 94 due to working out for 30 minutes six days a week including swimming and weight lifting. I don't think he'd be as good as he is without that. So I'm trying to overcome the couch potato gene.

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  6. You know 58 is the new 38. I guess your mom didn't like that card. Mom didn't like it either but she learned to love the senior discount. She never used the scooters, even after her knee replacements. She was too stubborn. Your blogs always make us smile

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    1. My husband is 25 years younger than me and recently had a birthday. I told him if he said anything about getting "old" I'd pop him in the kneecap :-) I did have to use the scooter that first week after the meniscus removal surgery, but then I just hobbled and swore a lot. Glad we made you smile - I always read your posts to my husband - he just loves them.

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  7. Haha. Way to take it to them both! Getting older (not old, mind you) isn't for sissies. Just ask the last person who made a joke to me who whistled past AARP eligibility AGES ago. He still has headaches!! 😇

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Welcome to The Book of Barkley. This blog was created for more memories of Barkley as well as updates on Abby the Senior rescue Lab,who we adopted in 2014.

Stop in and say hello. 100% of book sales are donated to animal rescue organizations across the U.S. and Canada and Search Dog Foundation. If you have a non-profit animal organization and would like autographed copies of any of my three books for auction fundraisers or a blog post featuring your organization please contact me at cliodna58@gmail.com