Saturday, November 18, 2017
In Dog Beers I've Had Just One - Holiday Shopping
500 carts in the store and I will get the one with the front wheel that pirouettes like a ballerina on crack.
I always make a list. Sometimes I remember to bring it with me.
Always eat something before shopping. I once went on an empty stomach and came home as the proud owner of Aisle 5.
You can go to the store for "just" milk, and spend $125.
You know you need "me" time when a stroll down the detergent aisle feels like a spa day.
My husband once asked me to pick up some oil There were like 87 different kinds. I now know what men feel like in the tampon aisle.
If someone is standing directly in front of the item I need I will pretend to look for something else until they move.
I once lost my Mom in the store. I was 51. They gave me a balloon and paged her.
I do not object to telling the millennial who has 37 items in the Express Aisle "that I know all the lyrics to FROZEN and I am NOT afraid to use them".
I have, on more than one occasion of many years, turned the Betty Crocker Upside Down Cake box in the aisle - upside down.
I realize that I get excited that I can now buy the unhealthy cereal my Mom usually didn't let us have.
Someday they will say about me "she died doing what she loved, carrying 87 plastic bags of groceries from the car to the house, rather than make 2 trips.".
That being said - happy to have survived and made it home for a cold one.
And a frozen pizza - as I was tired out from all the shopping.