HBO Words - Opening Windows

Abby Lab here. Mom spent the whole day uploading a new Version of Windows.  Dad got her a laptop for personal use and blogging on the road which had Windows 8. To say she hated Windows 8 it, was an understatement.  Using it as she did to capture and sort photos for the blog was about as user friendly as the U.S. Tax Code. Her old laptop which she deaded had Windows 7 which she just loved.

The intent for Windows 8 I guess, was to meld together the desktop and mobile platforms to try for a single operating system that would work on the desktop, notebooks and tablets.  What Mom got was a system that just screamed for flaming torches and pitchforks.  The tutorial was no help at all, simply telling her to move her mouse to any corner. . and then. . WHAT? What is it supposed to do. to be? And all she could think of was.

It just leaves off right there and apparently Mom was supposed to just cognitively know that although most scroll wheels go up and down, Windows 8 wants you to scroll sideways.

Look - Mom is not high tech outside of professionally related things. When her adoption records were unsealed she found out she was related to Bill Gates.  She's not going to tell him, he'd see her flip phone and immediately get a restraining order.  Mom's just technology challenged outside of the forensic stuff she plays with and airplanes.  I mean, she has a Victrola in the living room and the first Windows wallpaper was tweaked to add a historical battle

So when she had the first problems with it she thought about taking it to the Microsoft Store. However, she figured once I got there, she would find a nice shiny glass building, with all sort s of MicroNerds inside, waving and welcome me to come in. But there would be no door.  Somehow she was supposed to know that se was to select one corner of the store, hover at least 2 inches up for 2 seconds and then a glass panel would magically open.  Being redhead and a little less than patient with such things, she decided to forgo the trip.

So she muddled through, scrolling though screen after screen of run on photos, only to find the one she wanted to add to the blog, only to have something go "zap" like Samantha of Bewitched was in the room and the next thing you knew the  picture was missing and there was a pony in the room.

Then there were the error codes:

Windows 8 Error:  Multitasking attempted.  System is confused.

Windows 8 Error:  Unexplained error.  Please explain what you did wrong.

Windows 8 Error:  This will end your Windows Session. You are now locked out.

Windows 8 Error:  Erroneous Error.  Just seeing if you are paying attention.

Windows 8 Error:  System Pricing Error. Inadequate money spent on hardware.

Windows 8 Error:   Wrong Information Specified. Where did you learn to type?

Windows 8 Error: Invalid property assignment. Promotional literature overflow.  Deleted stored documents to maintain recycle bin contents.

Windows 8 Error:  Invalid Entry. Try that again and see what happens.

Windows 8 Error:  Mouse Not Found - A mouse driver has not been installed. Please left click your mouse to continue.

So fortunately, Microsoft realized they (quote)  Put a cognitive burden on the user (unquote) and gave us a new one. That's like saying your first marriage from hell was a "cognitive burden".  You are NOT just going to kiss and make up from that, you are going to view any  future relationship with a Microsoft system as something that wants to take every dollar from your wallet as it steals your soul, before it dumps you, taking most of the stuff you've kept as important.

But Miocrosoft 10 is now installed - it took a little while, so long that there were actually teaser screens telling me how much Mom would like it, so she wouldn't run screaming, followed by a screen that tells her not to turn off her computer (because she is having SO much fun staring at the blue screen when she'd rather be drinking Chardonnay.) Mom said it was much easier.

So, it's working, and for now, at least until the next click of a mouse  her pictures are easy to find and sort, nothing went missing and all is well in the world.

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