Monday, December 2, 2019
Things that NEVER Happen on Star Trek
With a little help from her friends and the interwebs here is a compilation (tongue in cheek)
Things that NEVER Happen on Star Trek.
-The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.
-The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.
-Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.
-The Enterprise visits the Klingon homeworld on a bright, sunny day.
-The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform wearing a funny hat.
-An attempt at undermining the Klingon-Federation alliance is discovered without anyone noting that such an attempt if successful "would represent a fundamental shift of power throughout the quadrant".
-The crew of the Enterprise is struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.
-The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
-The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.
-Scotty walks up to the replicator and says "Coke on ice".
-An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it doesn't know the password.
-Kirk doesn't get into a fistfight.
-Kirk gets into a fistfight and doesn't rip his shirt.
-A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.
-The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some treats.
-Kirk doesn't end up kissing the troubled guest-female before she sacrifices herself for him.
-The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.
-Spock forgets himself and breaks into an expletive-laden stand-up comedy routine.
-The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.
-Kirk falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.
-Somebody takes out a shuttle and it doesn't explode or crash on an isolated planet.
-The warp engines start playing up a bit but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from Scotty.
-The mysterious giant threatening object is on a direct course for some world other than Earth.
-The transporter is actually able to lock on to someone's signal when they're in danger.
-A redshirt manages to avoid the thrown knife, phaser shot, arrow, or whatever.
-The deflector shields hold through the duration of the battle.
-Kirk meets a woman whom he's known for years but never made out with.
-Kirk says "Uhura, I'm frightened".
-An unknown ensign beams down as part of an away team and lives to tell the tale.
-An android race turns out to be completely friendly and not threatening or menacing in any way.
-Some patient of McCoy's who is NOT a central character lives.
-Scotty doesn't mention the laws of physics.
-The episode ends without Bones and Kirk laughing at Spock's inability to understand the joke and doesn't raise his eyebrows.