Thursday, June 1, 2017

Jailbreak!

Reporting LIVE from JAIL - Yes, that's right, it's Abby and I'm in jail.  I think someone should call the Blogville Law Offices of Von Schnitzel, Ketchum and Dedum about this egregious mistake.

It all started a few hours ago.  Mom and Dad had a romantic dinner as Dad has been gone a LOT on a big project for work. There was yummy smelling food that Dad cooked for her, candles and wine. Mom made silly. giggling noises and Dad was smiling a lot.  Then it was time for "take the dog out". Our house is in the city but it's in a deep, wooded lot that has all sorts of critters living in it and around the empty half lot with lots of trees on one side of the driveway and sometimes coming into the smaller fenced part on the other side of the driveway their way to the park.  There in the back corner, I did my favorite roll in the grass, but it was even better as it was "roll in the smell" as something was deader back there in the dark.  I'm not sure WHAT it was, there was just a big, smelly stain in the grass and I rolled in it good.

When Dad brought me into the house, boy was I STINKY. Dad said "maybe it's just poop" and Mom smelled me and said, "no, I know that smell too well - that's deader". Mom was NOT happy with me but she got all kinds of warm, wet towels and wiped me down gently as best she could. But then they put me in jail. It was a small room cell blocked with chairs so I couldn't get out. I have my older washable travel bed and my favorite stuffy, but they put stuff on the futon so I couldn't smellasize it.
Dad then went  to Wall-GREENS and got doggie shampoo and gave me a quick  bath and then put me back in jail until I'm a hundred years old "dry". I don't think Mom was too happy with me.
But little known to Mom, I called one of my doggie friends and they're going to send me something to spring me.  Not just a file in a cake even better.  A TANK.

And not just ANY Tank, but the "Donk".  Don' laugh - go to Amazon and you can get your own. Now, I know what you're thinking.  Many of you have fallen trap to the "purchased the first tank you saw", just wanting to get your better half something for that special night and get out of the store as quickly as possible only to have her roll her eyes and tell you the insurgents are going to take that thing out with a home made Mortar in 5 minutes and her friend  Mary's husband spent three months salary and got her a bigger one.

It pays to shop carefully - especially when springing a friend from jail.
Hurry - The Matron is downstairs folding laundry - she'll never catch us!



10 comments:

  1. So do you live in one of those areas where a drone might be able to deliver it to you asap? Good luck.

    Woos - Lightning and Misty

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  2. How unfair! How were you to know that the smell would penetrate? I can steer the tank but my legs won't reach the peddle. Let me know if you find someone to operate the peddles. I'll come for you! *ear licks*

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  3. fallen trap to "purchase the first tank you saw." I love that. If you need a lawyer better call Foley

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  4. I just wanna know how dey deliver a tank, BOL BOL!

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  5. Yikes, they got you in lockup? Your dad should have bought some Nature's Miracle cuz that worked good on Skunk Stink so we bet it would fix you up too. We sure hope they are delivering good meals to you!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  6. You had to have a BATH and get all your wonderful scent OFF. AND then were BANISHED so you couldn't guard the floor under the table for possible food drops? You do need that DONK quickly! We think this is a scandal.

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  7. Oh Abby my dad use to do the repairs on tanks and the sighting of the guns,
    so if there is any trouble I'll bring him with me. Is there a place big enough
    to land the B-2 Spirit? I think we can take out the fence and get you to safety
    before your mom and dad finish dinner. Be ready, no time to back out now!
    Amazon has promised same day delivery.
    See ya soon Astro

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  8. Thanks for the POTP Lee is worried about me and she hates we have to wait two whole weeks to get in to the specialist. Please keep me in your prayers.
    Now you really know how to put a damper on a romantic evening.
    Sweet William The Scot

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  9. Oh dear! It's the old "what smells good to a dog doesn't smell good to a human" thing! So sorry you had to get a bath, and spend time in jail too. You might have heard me say I like jumping into the bath tub. But that's only to get my muddy feet and belly rinsed off. Not the entire soap and suds thing. Poor you!

    PS I always thought Donk was a character in Crocodile Dundee. You learn something new every day! BOL!

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  10. I want such a donk...and I will come with that Donk to start the donkiest prison break ever with ya...

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Welcome to The Book of Barkley. This blog was created for more memories of Barkley as well as updates on Abby the Senior rescue Lab,who we adopted in 2014.

Stop in and say hello. 100% of book sales are donated to animal rescue organizations across the U.S. and Canada and Search Dog Foundation. If you have a non-profit animal organization and would like autographed copies of any of my three books for auction fundraisers or a blog post featuring your organization please contact me at cliodna58@gmail.com