Friday, March 23, 2018

Prison Walls are Never Built to Scale - An Abby Lab Adventure

Reporting LIVE from JAIL - Yes, that's right, it's Abby T. Lab and I'm in jail.  I think someone should call the Blogville Law Offices of Von Schnitzel, Ketchum and Dedum about this egregious mistake.

It all started a few hours ago.  Mom and Dad had a romantic dinner as Dad has been gone a LOT on a big project for work. There was yummy smelling food that Mom cooked, candles and wine. Mom made silly. giggling noises and Dad was smiling a lot.  Then it was time for "take the dog out".  Our house is in the city but the original owners bought TWO lots so it is in a deep, wooded area that has all sorts of critters living in it and sometimes coming into the smaller fenced part on their way to the large park and river nearby.  There in the back corner, I did my favorite roll in the grass, but it was even better as it was "roll in the smell" as something was deader back there in the dark.  I'm not sure WHAT it was, there was just a big, smelly stain in the grass and I rolled in it good.
I don't know about you two, but something smells in here.

When Dad brought me into the house, boy was I STINKY. Dad said "maybe it's just poop" and Mom smelled me and said, "no, I know that smell too well - that's deader". Mom was NOT happy with me but she got all kinds of warm, wet towels and wiped me down gently as best she could. But then they put me in jail. It was a small room cell blocked with chairs so I couldn't get out. I have my older washable travel bed and my favorite stuffy, but they put stuff on the futon so I couldn't smellasize it.
If that is dog shampoo I may have to kill you.

Dad then went to Wall-GREENS and got doggie shampoo and gave me a quick bath and then put me back in jail until I'm a hundred years old "dry". I don't think Mom was too happy with me.
But little known to Mom, I called one of my doggie friends and they're going to send me something to spring me.  Not just a file in a cake even better.  A TANK.

And not just ANY Tank, but the "Donk".  Don't' laugh - go to Amazon and you can get your own. Now, I know what you're thinking.  Many of you have fallen trap to the "purchased the first tank you saw", just wanting to get your better half something for that special date and get out of the store as quickly as possible only to have her roll her eyes and tell you the insurgents are going to take that thing out with a homemade Mortar in 5 minutes and her friend  Mary's husband spent three months salary and got her a bigger tank.

It pays to shop carefully - especially when springing a friend from jail.
Hurry - The Matron is in the basement folding laundry - she'll never catch us!



8 comments:

  1. On our way, Abby! I can't believes they put you in jail just for smelling good!!

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  2. LOL. Abby you have to escape like how Clint Eastwood did in Escape From Alcatraz. Plus you can roll in the grass anytime. Just blame the smell on mom and dad. Have a great day. Thanks for the share.
    World of Animals

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  3. You're so lucky to find somefin dead to roll in!

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  4. Why is it that the best things to roll in seem to cause so much angst for the peeps!!! We were worried it was a skunk that got you, but at least you got to have some fun before being incarcerated:)

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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  5. OMD Abby
    Amazon is here in WA do you want me to
    get two of them and drive them to you? No one will suspect a thing.
    I could pick up a case of wine too and treats GF free.
    XO Astro

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  6. We just learned why your mom loves your dad . . . "maybe it's just poop!" Yup, he is an optimist!!

    Keep Calm & Bark On!

    Murphy & Stanley

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  7. You'd better get me the name of that tank dealer just in case I get put in the slammer again when ghostwriter and Dad want to take a trip to Florida sometime soon. But really, I think there's going to be no vacation for ghostwriter this year. She used up all of her her vacation pay to cover her health insurance premiums while she was out with her knee surgery. But you never know!

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  8. The best laid plans of mice and lovers...looks like you already tanked that evening for your folks, Abby Lab.

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Welcome to The Book of Barkley and the Blogville dog blogging community. This blog was created for more memories of Barkley as well as updates on Abby the Senior rescue Lab, who we adopted in 2014.

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