Thursday, September 8, 2016

Is YOUR Mom Weird? - A Post from Abby Lab



Abby Lab here  - I want to check with you other dogs in Blogville to see if you still have a weird Mommy.  I think I sure do.  She's in her 50's, refuses to go grey, or act like a grandma. Isn't she just supposed to sit home with her permed hair in little curlers,  knitting something and playing the Publishing House Sweepstakes?  Isn't that what grandma's do?

But no, my Mom likes outdoorsy things and the one time she knitted it was tactical camo slippers!

Though she did put girly bows on them.
Most of the other dog mommies I know have closets full of beautiful clothes.

Mom's closet looks like Joe Friday from Dragnet dresses here.  
Most of the time she just grabs jeans and one of Dad's t-shirts and off she goes, though even dressed like this she always has her lemony perfume and a lip gloss.
She's only worn a dress three times, that Dad knows of.  The first was when she and Dad were dating and  Dad was playing his violin professionally and she showed up and told the usher, pointing at Dad, who is 25 years younger then she, and said "I'm with the band (wink)".  Mom you need to grow up! 

The second was when a male friend of hers who had terminal bone cancer wanted to go to to the symphony but couldn't get a date, so  with the support of their boyfriends (one of whom is my Dad now), Mom and her beautiful blond best friend bought gorgeous new dresses and went with him both, a lady on each arm.
The third day was her wedding where she had a beautiful blue and white Celtic wedding gown. Dad wore Victorian clothing.  All of the wedding party was told to dress in their favorite historical or fantasy outfit, so it was a blast (but no capes, those were fine for the reception but not for the ceremony).
With a garter full of ninja throwing knifes that Dad made her.

I don't think the tactical kilt counts as a dress Mom.

But Mom and Dad are a good match, best friends online for five years, dating two years, and married 3 years ago. With a famous engineer/inventor and a mad scientist/crime-fighter paired up you are only going to have adventures. (and ouches)
Each week she disappears off to squirrel headquarters, and is sometimes gone a long time. I have a feeling she is weird there too given some of the stuff I've seen her leave with to decorate her office.
She gets me dog walkers if she has a long day but when she gets home sometimes I look at her eyes and have to go give her some love, as she's seen something she can't unsee and she needs me.  She said it's really hard when there are children hurt. . .and then she won't talk any more.
Weekends there's fun with Dad, but the other Dog Mom's often go shopping.  My weirdo Mom loads up her big 4 x 4 pickup (seriously Mom, should you be in a  1985 Buick like all the other grannies) and meets from friends that are PAW-lice and makes boomy noises at the LEO range.
Mom - there's a reason the delivery guy just tosses the Chewy box on the porch and takes off.
And she has this mad science laboratory in the basement where she can make weird things like a satchel that's made out of an antique book
Or a computer made out of a 1940's analytical balance.
Or a lamp for the garage.
Hey - it IS electric perk!

And she doesn't know how to accessorize. Not at all. She has one purse. ONE and this is what her nightstand looks like. I won't even ask why you need the BIG box of band-aids Mom.
Come on Mom - can't you do normal Mom things.  Like go to a swap meet.

No, NOT a SWAT meet.  Sheesh Mom.

But you know, I think I have a good Mommy. She lives simply fixing up her old house, so she can give a lot of money to the dog and cat  and horse rescue folks decorating it in all antiques or "thrown away" things she finds on the curb that just need a little TLC. (she gave all her fancy shmancy stuff from her big house to the Veterans charity when she sold it).


She took an old beat up house that had been abandoned for a while and  she and Dad made it warm and safe doing all of the work themselves to save money so they can continue to help others in need. And she has such a kind heart.  She grew up hunting, for food for table as her family didn't have much money, but the last time she went, she came home, the gun un-fired and we had fish sticks for dinner. She's not hunted since, and only goes to the woods with her camera.  She said "I just can't any more, they're souls like you are".

And she makes GREAT foodables. Like her cheddar biscuits (she makes a batch without garlic for me).
or the flying Frisbee's of goodness.



Or the faux sausage cornmeal crust pizza bones.

She takes really good care of her 96 year old  Dad, sacrificing a lot so he can stay in his home because he doesn't want to leave where he's lived almost 70 years and outlived two wives and two kids.
Mom and Dad spent their honeymoon keeping her Dad company instead of a trip.

And she loves the animals in the family, me and Buddy the horse out West and she and Dad know how to laugh and make the house a happy place for me, especially when I had just arrived and was so scared and lonely from months in the scary high kill shelter, where I made friends and then they'd just disappear.  I didn't like that place.  I didn't think anyone would adopt me because I was old and not purebred and sick with heartsworms but Mom got me as soon as she saw my furry face.

So I think I will keep her as my Mom.

Even if she is weird.


16 comments:

  1. You know what I've figured out, Abby? All the BEST mommas are weird. The normal ones are super boring, and they don't go ALL OUT spoiling their pups like the weirdos do. So I'll happily take my weird momma! (And she says if she gets married, she wants a garter like your mom's!)

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  2. BOL weird doesn't even start to describe my mom.

    Aroo to you,
    Sully

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  3. Abby,
    We hope your mom stays weird because we like her that way too.
    All the mom's I know are special because they have dog.
    My Mom is weird also Look who she rescued.
    xo Astro
    Ps my mom says yesterdays post made her eyes wet.

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  4. Yuppers, Abby, all Moms are super weird. I won't even begin to tell you abouts my weirdo Ma! She has sworn me to secrecy, and I won;t gets any tequila for the margaritas if I spill! geesh. Anyhu, I thinks your Moms is cool! She's even better at a drill than mine! Ma never made a cool purse outta a book!
    I say, "Keep Moms Weird!" it's the only way to go
    Kisses,
    Ruby ♥

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  5. I thought our momz hadta pass sum kind of weird test b-4 they cood b dogmomz.
    My mom ownz 1 or may-b 2 dresses altho I don't know y - I ain't never seen her in 1 an'I bin here almost 10 yearz. Even tho my mom may b weird with a capital W - I am purty shure I wood not b here in Blogville with all my furrendz if she wuz not so weird - so it'z werth it - an'I probably wood not git so much good stuffz tue eat tue - even with the flashy beest goin'off when I'm tryin'tue snooze.
    Lady Shasta of Beaglebratz Manor

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  6. you have a super mom, that's for sure... and my momma would love to drive a pick up truck, butt she can't park one without leaving a battlefield behind... and I wish the mama could go with yours to that Leo range, then my dad hasn't to pay the fees for the exam again... it's the third time now... sigh...

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    Replies
    1. Mom's not PAW-lice - she's federal, but they let her share. Plus the gang members aren't in the stall next door.

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  7. Grandmas aren't what they were when we were little. I remember the granny dresses and shoes my one grandma wore when she was my age…well that's not my style of getting older either. You're as young as you feel I say.

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  8. Oh Thank Dog we're not the only one with a weird mum and she's much older than yours.

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  9. Your mom sounds like a ton of fun to us!!!
    Cammie!

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    1. Dad thinks so - my favorite is the foodables!

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  10. It's the weird mommies that are the fun mommies! BUTT we might need to know if that SPAM can meant she liked to eat SPAM. Now we think THAT is weird!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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    Replies
    1. Mom's daughter adopted Mom is Native Hawaiian. They LOVE SPAM so when she saw the bacon spam she had to send it as a gift. They are great about Mom visiting occasionally and getting to know her daughter.

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  11. Abby, Your mom is the best kind of mom! She has a good heart. Mimi says she never wants to get married again but if she did she wants a wedding like your mom and dad's.
    Your Furend in Vancouver
    Louis Dog Armstrong

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    Replies
    1. Louis - Mom said the same thing for 21 years, then met Dad. You never know.
      Mom was raised in SW Washington and went to college for undergraduate in Seattle, she loves the city of Vancouver and drank many a pint of beer there on the weekends when she was in school. Cheers!

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