Sunday, September 25, 2022

Why Kirk is Better than Picard - Boldly Go

I know at least one of you ladies is as big a Star Trek fan as I am, so for you:

Twenty-Five Reasons I like Kirk over Picard.

 1. When Picard senses that Wesley is having emotional problems he sits down and talks with him about it. When Kirk sensed that Charlie X was having emotional problems, he took him to the gym and threw him around on the mats until Charlie got over it.

2. Picard's Enterprise was destroyed by a couple of Klingon women while he was stranded on a desert planet. Kirk's Enterprise was destroyed when he blew up a crew of Klingons, stole their ship, and resurrected Spock from the dead.

3. Kirk does not play the flute.

4. When Kirk blew up the Enterprise, Starfleet built him another one and had it ready by the time he got home.

5. Kirk collects antique guns. Picard collects antique matryoshka nesting dolls.

6. Kirk chastises omni-powerful super beings for not being polite to women.

7. Kirk once ordered Scotty to fire a photon torpedo on his position and then he dodged out of the way so it hit the alien he was fighting.

8. When it's time for shore leave Kirk goes rock climbing and drinks whiskey. Picard wears Speedos and reads by the pool.

9. Kirk jumps horses in his spare time. Picard owns a fish.

10. Picard's engineer wears goofy wrap-around sunglasses. Kirk's engineer wears a kilt and can drink you under the table.

 11. Kirk drinks Saurian brandy straight from the bottle.  Picard drinks tea.

12. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at chess.

13. Everyone knows the phrase "Beam me up, Scotty!" The phrase, "Energize whenever you are ready, Mr. La Forge," doesn't exactly have the same notoriety.

14. Kirk once yelled, "No blah-blah-blah! No blah-blah-blah!" and made it sound important.

15. Kirk's hand phaser is sleek and sexy. Picard's hand phaser looks like a Hoover Dirt Devil.

16. Kirk fought the Greek god Apollo. And won.

17. When Kirk gets punched in the face he just wipes the blood off his lip and looks at it with a smirk.

18. Kirk chops his own firewood.

19. The main computer on Kirk's Enterprise once hit on him.

20 When Kirk disguised himself as a Romulan, he stole a cloaking device and used it to escape to Federation space. When Picard disguised himself as a Romulan he ate some soup and then got captured.

21. Even though they haven't existed for hundreds of years, Kirk can still drive a stick shift.

22. Kirk never dressed in green tights and pretended to be Robin Hood, and if he had, someone would have paid for it.

23. Kirk blatantly disobeys one out of every five Starfleet orders just to remind them who's really minding the store.

24. Kirk once kicked a Klingon into the molten core of an exploding planet.

25. Style: Kirk did it first, he did it better and he did it wearing gold velour and Beatle-boots with a space girl on each arm.


  1. Ah, but Picard is a more mature man. Kirk has retained the enthusiasm of the newly graduated Officer.

  2. I am warming up to Captain Pike on Strange New Worlds on Paramount

  3. I am warming up to Captain Pike on Strange New Worlds


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