Abby Lab's Adult Truths

Abby T. Lab here.  I'm a Senior and I have a Senior Mom (as she recently turned the big Six-Oh).  Living with humans inside a house I've learned a lot from when I was a neglected outdoor dog before I was rescued.  I thought I should share them with you.

Abby's Adult Truths.

1. Sometimes Mom will look at the clock consecutive times and still not know that it's time for my supper.

2. Nothing stinks more than that moment during a disagreement when Mom realizes she's wrong.

3. Mom totally takes back all those times she didn't want to nap when she was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. Mom has a hard time deciphering that fine line between boredom and hungry

6. Google Maps really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure Mom knows how to get out of our neighborhood.

7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told us how the person died.

8. Bad decisions make good stories (and Mom is SO happy there wasn't social media when she was making all those bad decisions)

9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when Mom knows that she just isn't going to accomplish anything productive for the rest of the day.

10. Mom keeps some people's phone numbers in her phone just so she knows not to answer when they call.

11. How many times is it appropriate for a human to say "What?" before they just nod and smile because they still didn't hear or understand a word the other person said?

12. Mom says she loves the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

13.  Mom says Google Maps should have a function in Chicago that just says avoid "the hood"

14. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Yoga pants? Yoga pants never get dirty, and apparently, Mom can wear them forever.

15. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

16. Mom thinks the freezer deserves a light as well.

17.  In the old days when you died you had "pallbearers"  Now, you just need friends who can immediately clear your browser history on your computer after you die.

18.  Despite the fact that Mom knows Cap'n Crunch's real name is Horatio Magellan Crunch, she's never been invited to be on Jeopardy.