Sunday, September 17, 2017

Abby Lab's Mom With Computer Basics

You know me, safety forced. 
 - Red Green

I'm not the person people come to for help with computers.  I'm just the forensic scientist that has a homemade computer made out of a 1940's Analytical Balance.  That is the total extent of my computer knowledge - what the basic components are (and yes, the big button is on/off).


I'm lucky that I have an admin assistant at work that was  in administration in the Army or I'd not be able to get anything done without him.

So sometimes even the basic stuff is a challenge

Like when I tried to upload Windows 10. The last laptop I got had Windows 8. To say I hated Windows 8 was an understatement.  Using it as I did to capture and sort photos for the blog was about as user-friendly as the U.S. Tax Code.

The intent I guess, was to meld together the desktop and mobile platforms to try for a single operating system that would work on the desktop, notebooks, and tablets.  What I got was a system that just screamed for flaming torches and pitchforks.  The tutorial was no help at all, simply telling me to move my mouse to any corner. . and then. . WHAT?   What is it supposed to do, to be?   And all I could think of was Saturday Night Live's The Church Lady with "could it be. . . SATAN?"

It just leaves off right there and apparently, I was supposed to just cognitively know that although most scroll wheels go up and down, Windows 8 wants you to scroll sideways.

So I muddled through, scrolling through screen after screen of run on photos, only to find the one I wanted to add to the blog, only to have something go "zap" like Samantha of Bewitched was in the room and the next thing you know my picture was missing and there was a pony in the room.

See, that's my computer skill.  So tasks that are basic for everyone under the age of 50 are more a challenge for me. Like, what do you do if you have a hard drive you want to get rid of.

Sure you can take out all your data, compress and encrypt using a strong encryption and then format the hard disk drive. Even if the bad guys recover the encrypted file, trying to decrypt the recovered file would be a difficult task (think the average politician and a really hard level of Angry Birds).

But you can't just delete a file from the hard drive, it doesn't go away.  When files are erased  (and that's a pretty loose definition of the word) from a hard drive, they don't really disappear, only the file location information is removed. In other words, the file(s) are invisible to the operating system (like Windows or Linux) but not impossible to recover (especially for geeky folks that have nothing else to do)
"Me, mess with my colleagues?"

So what do you do when you've replaced a hard drive, to make sure someone doesn't get the info off of the old one and you're really not a computer whiz.

I'll offer some ideas from the past few years.  Then you all can come up with one of your own. 
No, not going to cut it.
There's an assortment of shop tools and stuff out in the garage.

You can bury it. With enough old computers around, you can have your own "Hard Drive Body Farm".

There's blunt force trauma.

You might want to check with your homeowners association first. 
 Ve haf ways of making you talk.
There's heat (but there's that whole harmful volatiles issue).

What's this?  

"Product warranty void if drive experiences shock in excess of 350 G's."

350 G's?! What on earth would have that kind of destructive force?

Treat!!!

No, with Barkley gone, the current "mandibles of death"- Abby Normal the Labrador  -couldn't do any significant damage, and she shouldn't be using anything but stuffies to play with.

I could use an extra coaster.

13 comments:

  1. Hari OM
    LOL... well, being a 'geek', I tend to check up on recommended practices every so often and the thing with the hard drives is exactly as your intent is here. Physical destruction. A sledgehammer oughtta do the trick. This is a fun wee article I read recently... YAM xx

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  2. We've had WIndows 10 for awhile now and don't remember too much about 8 other than the exact problem you mentioned with photos. We remember suffering with that. Might have been why mom started putting them on the cloud so she could find things!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

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  3. Can you hear me laughing? In April we had to finally replace an 8 year old computer.
    We knew what we wanted went to Best Buy with list in hand. I never loaded Windows 10 on the old one. So when the new one came in. WE picked it up made an appoint with the Geek Squad and were very pleased with their expertise. They transferred everything to the new computer. I was pleasantly surprised at how easy Windows 10 was. I had Windows 7. Helped me with a little navigation and gave me my
    hard drive. It is still sitting in my desk drawer. I like your suggestion for getting rid of it.
    Give Abby a hug from us
    Madi and mom

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  4. We use blunt force trauma...lol. Or take it to a school so kindergarten kids can take it apart....they can break anything.

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  5. Windows 8 works much better with a touch screen. I hope Windows 10 is easier for you. I keep all my pics in my dropbox app. Uh, first thing I thought about was a sledge hammer, but you already covered that. Abby Lab sure looks willing, but I know you don't want the vet bills to follow.

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  6. BOL! LOL! It's a good thing I have techno-kids!

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    Replies
    1. Yup - people think this Grandma married a Millennial because he was cute and had a couple of patents that made lots of money - no, it was because he can fix my computer when everything breaks or freezes!

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  7. Our Mom always wonders the same thing. We think there are at least two of those gizmos sitting around here waiting for a good destructive solution. Thanks for the smiles.

    Woos - Lightning, Misty, and Timber

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  8. oh abby your mama is simply da best... the mama once tried to fix her pc with a hair dryer ... against all odds she reanimated the sucker... my dad was speechless, but the miracle lasted just for 7 minutes, then it was over and out furever...

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  9. 1.Wipe/overwrite drive multiple times.
    2.disassemble.
    3.run platters through the wood chipper.
    4.MAPP torch the platter fragments into molten slag.
    5.burn the rest of the parts in the bbq grill.
    6.clean grill.

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  10. Not to laugh at your misery, but some of those exact same issues are why I switched over to all Apple which has its own idiosyncrasies (I never got any warm fuzzies from Windows). But I will give you props-your description and accompanying photos all made me smile. Now where's that old stick of dynamite just for blowing up old hard drives? 😈

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