View From a Lap

A Lap is a terrible thing to waste.

 -  Guide to Human Care and Feeding - Labrador Retriever Edition

A Barkley Memory - An Attempt Was Made to Breach the Perimeter

Another stuffie makes the attempt to breach the perimeter and it doesn't end well. Barkley with G-Dog - her pal and co-conspirator.

Thoughts on Books

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

 Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”

- Groucho Marx

Lorelei Lab here.  I was just hoping for something simple like

Treats.   Bacon.   Stuffie.

But Mom decided to write about books.   

She didn't know what she would do without her books. Remember the book Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury?  It was set in a dystopian future in which firemen intentionally burn any house in which a book is located because it's against the law to possess them.  In the end, a fireman who had grown to love books escapes the city of quick, mindless but big-screen, reality-based entertainment, to find a small group of book-loving refugees banded together.  Each person is assigned the memorization of one complete book -- Aristotle, Dickens, James Joyce, and more -- so the books will survive until society is ready to embrace them again

She didn't read a lot of popular novels, though she had a rather large collection of classic Sci-Fi.  When her grade school classmates were reading The BoxCar Children and Pippi Longstocking, She was reading the works of Ayn Rand and Robert Heinlein, and a whole world beyond her quiet, hushed one at home, opened up to me.

Reading for her was not just intellectual but embracive. She loved the way the spine of a book feels in the crook of her fingers. The smooth, hard end boards snug on either side of the pages are sewn together, their edges flush and perfect. The smell of ink, the texture of a page as her fingers gently turn it.

She tended to read a lot of non-fiction and books that teach you how to create and maintain things. She likes to read history. She loves reading about long ago. know more about her own life when she knew more about the past. It's a sense of perspective; of days full of people that killed, tortured, struggled, and suffered, agonizing for things that were of the utmost importance to them; working and living for reasons that may be well the same as ours. Now they've been gone some 500 years and all that is left to us is the essence and quintessence of their lives so she can remember all that they never forgot.

To her, history was more than a story, more than a book, it's the life, heart and soul of ages long ago.  It's the ultimate myth and inevitably ambiguous, but she did believe, as Lord Bolingbroke stated, "History is philosophy teaching by example and also by a warning." History not read is like ammo not used, someone once said, and without reading, for herself at least, the past is silence and the future is haze.

Quantum Physicists have stated that time, as most of us think of it, is an illusion. They have postulated that the past, the present, and the future are here, now, captured in a touch, the blink of an eye, or perhaps, simply between two pages.

Between two pages here is a photo of her Mother in her garden. Outside the window here now, a plant opens up, spilling forth its seed onto the soil. She remembered days of working in the flowerbeds that her Mom so lovingly maintained. After her death, She kept it going as long as she could for her Dad until adulthood called me away. As she toiled in the garden, the sun kissed the top of her head, the touch a benediction, a blessing.

She had not yet learned of other kisses, the ones in the crook of the neck where the head joins the body and the body knows not its limitations. The one that dances on the skin like light that falls upon it, outstretched hands gathering fistfuls of flowers imprinted upon starched cotton. She had not yet learned that love is not just as wild as the flowers; it’s as fragile and elusive as glass; that in nature, the most delicate of things are often trod underfoot as they go unnoticed. So much contained in those pages never read.

At the bookstore recently, an engineering manual, two generations old, was opened to browse. In it was an ancient leaf, carefully pressed within the pages, the person who had done so likely long gone. She has many books like that old book, purchased from stores that contain more light than dust, yet containing within them things old and forgotten, things that in the wrong hands would only grow older. Finding the right one is like finding treasure, fingers tracing the spine, fingers that are gentle and forgiving, not wishing any further scar upon that which binds.

Such books find their way to her home, where they lay looking out from under leaded glass, pulled out to be read on late nights, the mind marveling that other minds marveled, the mysteries, the mistakes, playing out across the pages as if they were penned today. They tell their tales like the lonely, animated elderly, to anyone who is willing to listen, lessons are given without rancor or heat, so many words that need to be said while they can still be heard.

Nothing for her is worse than being in the back of an airplane or at a hotel with nothing to read. When in one mountainous far off place, she had to downsize a bag as the little airplane being piloted by what she believed was a Yeti, was weight restricted and her books were left behind for materials she had to have for the missionary work. She almost would have given up her tools, her poncho, and her hiking boots than her little collection of paperbacks, of Earth Abides and Stranger in a Strange Land, and a small leather-bound book of Shakespeare sonnets.

Let the weather play God with her itinerary, let the tanker bringing in supplies break down somewhere, let the post sell the last bottle of whiskey, but if she'd laid up alone in the middle of nowhere after she busts a move down the Himalayas and breaks her leg, she wants a book. Curled up in strange places among a couple artifacts of family that get toted around in her suitcase, she may be lonely, but she will be content. 

For she has a book.

It's a big old paper dead tree book because she wants to hold something in her hand that feels alive, to me even if a living thing died to create its pages. It's words that form pictures, laid out upon a living thing that never slept, never dreamed of the soft perch of birds or the sharp blade of the ax, never mourned the tender leaves that it nourished and abandoned. It’s a piece of wood, that can be warmth, support, and shelter, or the perfect, pristine bed of memory laid down bare.

Such is it tonight as she is alone tonight.  But in her head is history, the cries of warriors, rushing forth immortal beneath disported sabers and brandished flags, men rushing forward into time, propelled by gunpowder and righteousness, underneath a sky of thunder. She has a book.  She is caught up in battles, in loves, both forbidden and forgotten, coursing like blood as long as the words will, that immortal, fresh, abiding blood which bears respect above regret and commitment above the ease of dishonor.

Her housework is put aside for at least an hour or two before bed and she'll pick up that book. She'll let it transport her to somewhere far away until a chime will toll for warriors, for battles won and those so easily lost. As her hand turns the pages, she will move among people who lived and died, or perhaps never existed at all, their shadows not of flesh or blood but of imagination, shadows as strong as finely honed steel and shadows as quiet as murmuring breath, forgotten until they were put upon paper.

Then, on the sound of that chime, perhaps a clock, perhaps something that just travels within her, the note cutting the air, as sharp, clear, and quiet as a blade, she will fall off into sleep, there in that lonely bed. The book lies prone on the nightstand next to her, two forms, creating one shadow, the stories in both of them, never ceasing, even at rest. Outside the world continues in that illusion of change, the sky letting go of its tears, washing a parched landscape anew.

Quick - call the K-9 unit!

This is what it's like at our house. Every time the neighbor comes home from the store or the grandkids', the same kind neighbor we've had forever, Lorelei has to sound the alert.

Hooray for Rain

 Hallelujia - it finally rained Mom - the Dandelion Farm is saved!

Especially If It's the Sunny Spot

 "If you want the best seat in the house - you'll have to move the dog" - Unknown

On Getting Older

My husband just had a birthday - he passed the age 40 mark.  I reminded him any comments about getting old would involve dog houses and kibble for dinner, as I turn 65 this summer.  But all in all, I feel really good - except when the weather changes and "Accu-Knee" forecasting kicks in.  So for this Monday - some thoughts on getting older.  

2

1.   My goal for 2023 is to lose 10 pounds.  Only 15 to go.
2    I had a salad for dinner Saturday night!  Mostly croutons and tomatoes.  Really, just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce.  And cheese.  FINE, it was a pizza  I ate a pizza
3.   How to prepare a healthy dinner
  a.   Put the vegetables back in the fridge
  b.   Start frying the bacon

4.    I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
5.    I tried the Weight Watchers diet. I did great and ate exactly my 24 points.  The only problem was it was only 10 am in the morning.
6.    A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

7.    Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
8.    Remember back when we were kids and every time there was a foot of snow they would cancel school. Nah, me either.
9.    I may not be that athletic or funny or beautiful or talented.  I forgot where I was going with this.
10.  I'll love being 65.  I'll learn something new every day from the stuff I forgot.

11.  My parties don't wake up the dog, let alone the neighbors.
12.  I've pulled a muscle putting on a sock.
13.  Phone calls after 9 p.m. upset me.
12.  People call me spry and I'm not offended.

13.  I don't have hot flashes.  I have short, private vacations to the tropics.

14.  I was finally asked to appear topless on film - time for the mammogram!

15.  I'm becoming more reflective as I get older.  I ask myself - what is life? - what is happiness?  How many pints of Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

16.  I can sell my childhood toys on eBay for a small fortune.

17.   I've learned there is absolutely no good reason to act your age.
18.   I'm still younger than Mick Jagger

Lab Testing - Flying Frisbees of Goodness

Lorelei Lab here - Mom made my favorite flying Frisbees this morning.  I don't get syrup on mine, but they are FUN to catch and eat.

This is the best recipe ever and makes the lightest, most aerodynamic Frisbees ever with the best texture as well as lift over drag ratio!

In one bowl mix:

1 cup plus 1 Tablespoon flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 Tablespoons sugar

In a small bowl mix

1/2 cup goat yogurt mixed with goat milk to make 3/4 cup, using additional milk to add to the batter if it's too thick (Mom goes for a batter than's thicker than cake batter, but thinner than brownie batter)
Splash of vanilla (about 1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon)
1 egg (at room temperature) or equivalent egg substitute.

Whisk wet ingredients together, and then SLOWLY stream in while whisking - 

1/4 cup melted butter or melted vegan butter substitute

Mix wet and dry ONLY until mixed (do not overmix) and cook on a griddle.   Don't make them too big to make them easier to flip.  Makes about 10 medium-sized pancakes.

Warning - Eating Too Many May Induce Flying Frisbee Coma.

The Dogfather

"I was never here and you never saw what

 happened to Mr. Duck.  Capiche?"

Happy St. Patrick's Day - Ireland in Black and White

 

Suspense Novels for Dogs

 I took the recycling and the trash out.  You think I'd been gone for DAYS.

That  got me thinking about what if dogs wrote some of the most popular suspense novels:

And  Then There were None (cookies on the counter)

The Dog in the Window (bark bark bark bark bark)

Gone Girl (someone left eh gate open again)

The Cat Next Door

Murder on the Oriental Carpet (a stuffie mystery)

What You've Done (bad dog!) My apologies to my favorite suspense author and friend J.A.Schneider

Watching You

The Hunt for Red Elephant

The Wildlife Between Us (Squirrel!!!)

The Turn of the Key (Mom's home, Mom's home!)

The Count of Monty Cristo (You thought there was a fancy sandwich left, you miscounted)

The Silence of the Stuffies (Squeeker Removal)

The Silent Patient (no one can sulk like a dog at the Vet)

So - Maybe the Answer WAS Lassie?

I recently had a minor surgical procedure (nothing serious, just a follow-up diagnostic), and while getting prepped for the anesthesiologist, the nurse getting my IV line in kept looking at me.  Finally, she said, "You look SO familiar.  Are you an actress?"  I thought, "Hmm,  "Julianne Moore? Helen Mirren?  Big Bird?  Lassie?    I had to tell her I wasn't, but she said, "I could be" and also commented that I looked nowhere near my age.

Sunscreen helps, no alcohol, tobacco, and a 'heavy on plants' diet helps (with a daily Moringa Supplement from 

Maruyama Jones Farm

 in Hawaii and a couple of drops of their Moringa oil mixed in with my daily sunscreen (moringa has a natural spf, enhancing your sunscreen and also makes mine easier to apply as I use a mineral sunscreen balm from Badger that's great but is a bit thick.).  

But most importantly, I use natural skin care products without chemicals, preservatives, and harsh exfoliants.  There are several women-owned product lines for skin, hair, and body I use depending on the time of year and whether my eczema is flaring (usually stress-related), but one I've had in my "go-to bag consistently for the last 14 years is Frangipani products, created by Tracy Land from Indianapolis.  (Her little travel-sized kits are great for travel or for trying new things and can be easily refilled)

 Frangipani Body Products specializes in all-natural skincare and body products and has won the esteemed Annual Beauty with a Conscience Award.

When I first saw the products in a local magazine, I didn't know it was an Indy-based company. When I checked out all the positive feedback on Facebook from others with similar ages and skin types, I HAD to order some. The owner and creator of the products, Tracy Land, originally had been making them to heal her own skin, as she battled the skin condition rosacea (which I have as well), then sold it to a few friends while she worked in the Quality Assurance end of IT.

Tracy continued to develop the concept, and when her position was eliminated, instead of just picking up an unemployment check, she started refining the products, producing the products, and selling to the public, using word of mouth, farmer's markets, trade shows, etc.  I can only imagine how much telephoning, strategy, business planning, and leg work that was. The product was a hit and is now carried in a number of stores, including Whole Foods in addition to being online.

My skin has done so much better with natural products in the long term.  My skin is very fair and cantankerous on a good day, and the rosacea has made my cheeks irritated and red since grade school.  I love the Frangipani products! They may cost a bit more than what you can get at the drug store, but conventional products use a LOT of water and fillers to keep production costs down. But they are SERIOUSLY less expensive than some of the high-end "organic" lines out there.

Frangipani products contain only plant-based ingredients and almost NO water. Only a small amount is needed so the product is long-lasting, making it a value.  Compared to what I spent at the Lancome and Clinique and Estee Lauder counters over the years for things that only made my skin redder and more irritated. . . a bargain!

Sure, I could go out and get buffed, abraded and bo-toxed, quick, fake fixes. I prefer products that heal the skin long-term, helping it glow from the inside out.

I have no desire to be 20 again (which is like 2 in dog years). Aging gracefully is wonderful, whether you're a famous black lab or his redheaded "Mom."

65, no makeup, no filters.  Just good skincare and nutrition.

The Frangipani products:  So many - cleanser, creams, serums, Shea butter creams that would be perfect for gals OR guys to make work-worn hands feel like velvet, lip balm, a clay mask, deodorant, Tracy has it. The skin care selections range from oily teenage skin to OMG, I remember 8 track tapes! My favorites are the cleanser and the facial serum. I love gel cleansers but they dry my skin.  Cream cleansers remind me of Grandma's Ponds Cold Cream and make me break out if I use them daily. The Frangipani cleanser is smooth and very creamy, but it lathers just enough to clean and rinses completely without rubbing, leaving my face soft without irritating it with a washcloth. To exfoliate, there is an exfoliating product that's plant oil-based with little jojoba beads that gently get rid of dry skin, as they gently dissolve.

The facial cleanser also works well for guys for shaving.  The faint coconut and olive oil-based scent is very pleasant but NOT girly. Tracy does not use fragrance oils in her Frangipani line, but only essential oils, much gentler on the skin while still smelling wonderful and retaining their skin healing properties.  

I also love the body oil (you have to try that one). It's rice bran oil-based, so it soaks right in after bathing, avoiding that whole, "Honey, I just got out of the shower and moisturized and would love a hug," wherein he complies and you go shooting out of his arms like a watermelon seed and bounce off the walls, ruining the mood). And both the grapefruit and the lavender blends smell incredible but not overpowering

Check their website out (just click on the Frangipani name in purple at the start of the post). There is info on what stores carry the line (like some of the Whole Foods up here in Chicagoland have).  Everything is always shipped promptly, and the beautiful amber recyclable glass bottles are carefully packaged so there is no breakage (and trust me on the body oil thing.)

Now if I could just do something with my hair - maybe Lassie WAS the correct answer.

  - L.B.