Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Ogden Nash Called it on This One.

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
Is dental.
- Ogden Nash

Had a visit to the dentist a few days ago for a back molar that's given me some troubles.  It has a pocket in the gum that's developed back there due to an issue with a ridge in the tooth that makes it really hard to floss back there so I've developed a bit of gum disease in that area alone.  So they're going to go in with a laser and clean out any bacteria and then put a couple of stitches in it to shore it up so I don't lose the tooth down the road.  It does NOT sound like fun.

I've never liked the dentist. My childhood one's secret hero was the Laurence Olivier character in Marathon Man ("Is it SAFE?" ) and as a result, thought "gentle Dentistry" was only for wimps and enemies of the Reich,

I didn't even like getting them cleaned "your gums look sensitive LB - let me poke them with this prison shank".  Even the super nice ones annoyed me as they'd ask questions when I have a mouth full of instruments and I'd end up going full Chewbacca on them.


I am just a total dental wimp. 

So I had put off going to the dentist for anything other than a cleaning for a few years and then I get sent off to the periodontist. (more letters equals more money).  A lot of things were different. The X-ray thing was this 180-degree imaging machine that made whirring noises as it circled me. I half expected an HAL-like voice to say: "I've just picked up a fault in the AE35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours."

There was a TV screen in front of my chair.  If they show reality TV, I want sedation. Note:  several people have said the sedation meds do weird things to one's brain. So If I call ANYONE at 2 a.m Friday morning and start singing The Lumberjack Song, Anchors Away, or Oh Canada just set the phone down and pretend it didn't happen. It will be our little secret.

But I was happy to find the periodontist was actually a very knowledgeable and kind man with a great support staff who made even the upcoming large four digit bill sound like a pleasant procedure, so I resisted the urge to stomp on him.  The dental assistant has even read one of my books (which may or may not be a help - oh look out - it's the prison shank!)

Still, I'm not looking forward to the procedure though my best friend offered to come over with hootch, smoothies, and mashed potatoes since my husband is away on a business trip.  Come back tomorrow for some photos of Abby Lab and general drooling.


  1. The dentist has changed a lot the last few years. It is less painful and less stressful. I still hate them with a passion.

  2. Yuppers, you sound like Ma! If she is getting anything done, she will NOT do it without the GAS. Not he pharty kind, butts the laughing kind. (okays, maybe they're the same thing....). Ma has degenerative TMJD, which means she can't open her mouth butts 1/4 inch, so dental stuffs is especially hard. She recommends, for future use, a Waterpik. She is obsessed with using it everyday, cause, she too, has 'pockets' around her toothers, and this keeps them healthy as a 20-year-old's gums.
    I recommend, before-and after, margaritas! I can start now, and be there just as you are getting outta the chair.....
    Ruby ♥

  3. Agreed. I am a dental wimp also. I had so many bad ones as a kid that they scare me to death!!


  4. Hari Om
    Nope, I don't do 'dentist' either. Very bad experience in teenage years ensured a lifelong distrust... the toothers will just have to take their chances with the YAMster...

  5. Our mom is killing a few minutes just before her dentist appointment this morning! Best to chew bones BOL!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  6. Positive thought for you--I've had mostly good experiences with dentists. Even the one who did more damage to the tooth didn't cause pain. (Well, not directly. That was also the time I learned that I react badly to Lidocaine and must insist on Novocaine.)

    Of course pain depends on what's done, but diaphragm breathing makes *anything* easier to take.

    Hope it goes well!

  7. SHE just lost a filling yesterday... SHE goes to the dental school...lots of young, enthusiastic students in their last year of dental school, who don't want to make any mistakes. Very gentle.

  8. We hope it goes well for you! I've only had sedation for dental work once - back when I was in college, when dinosaurs roamed the earth. They warned me to have someone there who could drive me home, so I got the guy next door to come with me. I remember sitting in the chair and watching them put the needle into my arm ... and the next thing I knew, I was standing in another room and JT and the receptionist were laughing hysterically. I looked at JT and asked what was so funny. "You are!" and they both kept laughing. I still have no idea what I said. I also remember having to look at the top of my check to see what my name was and how to spell it when I went to pay. And yet, the bank let my check be cashed. Amazing.
    PS: Is it SAFE?!?!? lol.

  9. Yeppers my ma is a big scaredy when it comes to dentist.
    And they want her to get dentures. Not happening.
    I like what ruby said use a waterpik system.
    Ma squeezed the assistant's hand really hard.
    xo Astro

  10. Fun fun fun! Yipes! Good luck!

  11. dn't throw tomatoes at me, but I like it to go to the dentist... I'm crazy I know LOL


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