If I lay here, Dad will get home sooner.
Abby T. Lab here. My paw-rents may seem all normal to all you but I have to tell you, they are actually rather STIR-RANGE. Case in point, a conversation Friday night when Dad got home.
Mom: Hon - could you please pick up that small pile of clothes on the bathroom floor and take to the laundry room? (in the basement)
Dad: Your knee bothering you?
Mom: No, a giant spider just ran under them and although I stomped on the pile for a while, it might still be lying in wait.
Seriously Dad? Mom's afraid of a pile of underwear?
Dad: (sigh) You have rappelled into a canyon in the dark, you have landed an airplane as a typhoon approached and I've seen you up to your elbows in enough gore to make a maggot gag. . . .and you're afraid of spiders.
Mom: It was HUGE!!!
Dad: How big?
Mom: The size of a QUARTER!
Dad (chuckling): That's not huge!
Mom: Spiders the size of a quarter can skeletonize a cow in under two minutes.
Dad (laughing and pointing outside): Look! a centipede is stealing your hubcaps!
See what I mean folks - non-stop weirdness in this house.
But they feed me treats!