Tuesday, June 16, 2015

A Style Disaster - or how I ended up as a Character on Star Trek

Seriously Mom - you're wearing THAT?

Abby can probably attest by some of my early morning outfits - I seemed to have missed the fashion gene. I will never be pictured in one of those ladies glamour magazines except those old "do and don't" columns where they'd take photos of people off the street dressed improperly with a black square over their eyes to try and hide their identity - "Here's another woman that just does NOT know Ninja purses do NOT go with camo pants after Labor Day".

But then again, given my line of work and lack of shopping sense my closet looks something like this.
And yes, I do only own one dress (other than my wedding dress)  Bought one time to go to the symphony with a platonic guy friend dying of cancer who said he couldn't get a date, so my best friend and I, with our boyfriends blessing as they were friends with him too - got ALL dolled up and went with him, one of us on each arm. I hope that was a good memory for him (and that boyfriend is now Abby's Dad).

But one thing I will splurge on is a good haircut.  My hair is naturally curly, not tight curls, but still a lot of natural curl, very fine and lots of it.  On a good day, if I let it air dry,  and use a little styling product to make the curls stand out, it looks pretty good,  Other days, it looks like my head was attacked by a raccoon.  So for professional mode, I subdue the curl with a blow dryer and normally wear it up. 

Wanting something a little less boring , I decided to grow the bangs out.  That was fine until I ended up in the middle of something, dressed in gear that was supposed to keep my hair tucked away.  Except the bangs kept escaping.  Just long enough to cover my eyes.  Not long enough to stay under wraps.  I have to avoid the whole getting hands near my eyes things to brush them away (Mr. Rogers will explain biohazards, kids) and was growing increasing frustrated.  Finally I asked for a knife.
A simple knife will work on rope, boxes, crime scene tape, why not bangs.

I chopped several inches off of them.  I could see again.  End of problem.

Until I got home. They were surprisingly even, having done it without a mirror.  They were also VERY short.

I looked like a Romulan.

I went to the wonderful hair stylist that has dealt with my free range hair for years and she said "OMG. . . . .your bangs".  I grinned and said "don't worry, I told people you did it".

Fortunately my hair grows fast.  But there's a reason people don't come to me for fashion or accessory tips.
Or advice on what to buy from Victoria's Secret.

I wanted some pajamas.  Not the standard Victoria's Secret burn and pillage outfit, just regular warm, comfy pjs.  Victoria's Secret actually had this one style of them and they're made of material that's wonderfully soft and just gets softer with each wash. I know, as I got a pair of yellow ones as a gift three  years ago and I wore them until they literally fell apart. 

So I found a pair, style wise. But no yellow. The solid colors were all on back order, so I took the only one in stock.  Polka Dot.  On the 6 foot, 100 pound model (35 pounds of which was hair and cleavage) they looked kind of cute.

Not so much in real life and a "large". (I don't remember them being that "dotty" in the catalog)

I'm not sure what came to mind first.

101 Dalmatians.

or Clowns.

Ladies are always told the right footwear makes an outfit, and men are said to like red shoes, but why can't I get THESE out of my head.

Hmmm, no.  Maybe something in a warm slipper.

But they are indeed warm and fuzzy, not a terrible way to spend a very stormy evening with ones favorite fuzzy friend who, as usual is on the "grey dog bed".


  1. OMD OMD a ROMULAN.... OMD that would be a tad disconcerting fur SURE... Sorry butt there is some Laughing happin' here...
    NOW let's discuss that CLOSET... MRE's and the GHILLIE Suit... BOL BOL

    Roxy would think your Victorious Secrets PJ's were PAWfect... esp. the little spots... Fur HER it would be just like the Ghillie Suit.... BaaaaaWaaaah... you are Killin us here tonight!!! Abby your mom is a CARD... a QUEEN of ♥'s fur SURE.

  2. Wow, that's so incredibly funny! My mom has no fashion sense either...and being somewhat short and round doesn't help her either. BOL My dad simply wears clothes until they disintegrate. SHESH Love the Star Trek theme. That's a biggie in my house. BOL
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, Furiend

  3. Frankie Furter and Ernie - Mom and Dad play cards (cribbage) Dad kept skunking her (involves a seriously bad loss) to the point "Stinky" the stuffie skunk from Mom's childhood was on the table. She looked at Dad, cocked an eyebrow and said "Cards - they're like marriage - they start with a heart and a diamond. . . and end with a club and a spade". Dad snorted tea he was laughing so hard.

    They're goofy together but I love them.

    Sarge - ditto here. Mom was actually upset her purse broke and she had to go buy a new one (but let me tell you, the women spends a FORTUNE on girly bubbley bath products).

    Abby Lab

  4. Oh you had mom giggling here!
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

  5. Hari OM
    never underestimate the necessity for the right nightwear I always say!!! I once ever in life had a fringe.... big mistake. Never since.

    I don't possess a wardrobe. This enables 'free fashion'!!! YAM xx

  6. MOL MOL Abby your mom has a squirrel brief case and clown shoes. She is my kinna gal.
    Mom's fashion rule is clothes to match the belly of the Diva. LOL
    Hugs madi your bff

  7. Our mom keeps threatening to do that to her hair. She'd like to borrow your knife. Please. Please don't give it to her; we have to walk her every day.

  8. Oh I had such a BANG!-effect with my bangs too... I totally failed and it became tooooo short... the nice kids in school called me Prince Ironheart and the not so nice kids said: moonface :o(
    easy rider


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